Dawne Jacoby’s Rise From the Ashes to a Life of Empowerment
There’s a moment when you realize your struggles have sculpted you into a beacon of hope for others. Dawne Jacoby, co-founder of Grit to Grace, embodies this transformation.
[This is a special 39-minute episode. Some stories simply cannot be contained in a 9-minute package.]
Dawne’s story, woven throughout this episode, is one of profound resilience. She shares her forthcoming book, “I Thought It Was Love,” illustrating a life marred by abuse but not defined by it. As she converses with us, you’ll feel the authenticity of someone who’s stared down their darkest moments and emerged with a message of hope.
Turning pain into purpose, this episode illustrates the powerful truth that adversity can be the crucible for personal growth. We examine how a shift in perspective can lead to healing and how wisdom gained through hardship can be our greatest teacher. Whether it’s through therapy, life coaching, journaling, or even boxing, the episode underscores the multifaceted approach to finding healing and joy amidst life’s trials. Join us as we unravel the intimate and powerful insights that can light the path for anyone seeking to reclaim their story and embrace the fullness of life.
More About Our Guest
Dawne Jacoby was a former corporate executive, whose efforts were centered around growth, organizational change, relationships and development. She decided after multiple layoffs to lead with her faith and her heart to pursue her passion … to align with her purpose in this world – helping people.
Dawne Jacoby is an author and the co-founder of Grit 2 Grace. In that role she provides transformational coaching and executive consulting, as well as keynote speaking. She is the co-host of the wonderful new podcast, “His & Her Life Hacks.” As Co-Founder of Grit2Grace, alongside her partner and fiancé, Larry Ambrose, Dawne helps people to identify and remove the limiting beliefs that hold them back – personally and professionally. She helps clients uncover their true passion and strengths and creates a personalized plan so they can live the life they’ve always dreamed of.
Dawne joins us from her home in Philadelphia.
In this special bonus episode, you will discover why Dawne Jacoby is one of the wisest people I know!
Resources
“His & Her Life Hacks Podcast” on YouTube or on Apple Podcasts
Grit 2 Grace on LinkedIn
Connect with Dawne on LinkedIn
Credits
Editor + Technical Advisor Bob Hotchkiss
Brand + Strategy Advisor Andy Malinoski
PR + Partnerships Advisor Rachel Bell
Marketing, Social Media and Graphic Design Chloe Lineberg
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Episode Chapters
[0:03:44] – Common thread – podcasting
[0:04:48] – A Hallmark love story; how Dawne met Larry Ambrose (TMT102)
[0:06:49] – Getting to know Dawne through the eyes of others
[0:09:20] – Overcoming trauma to find purpose
[0:11:42] – An unconscious stage of life; living in survival mode
[0:14:30] – Leaning into her faith; Dawne discusses God’s plan for her life
[0:16:39] – Childhood wounds and generational patterns
[0:17:59] – Escaping abuse and finding love
[0:19:49] – The day things changed from emotional to physical abuse; leaving home
[0:24:18] – Dawne shares advice for other victims of trauma or abuse
[0:25:31] – Opportunity for you to get additional wisdom content & exclusive benefits
[0:26:40] – Dawne reveals her Main Thing; lessons from Dr. Wayne Dyer
[0:29:49] – Applications and examples of her main-thing wisdom
[0:31:55] – Embracing change through personal growth; Dawne’s journey to healing
[0:33:27] – Nuts & bolts of her transformation; not just mental but physical work too
[0:36:55] – Dawne is living testimony that change is possible; don’t lose hope
[0:37:42] – On the horizon, what lies ahead for Dawne
Full Transcript of This Episode
00:01 – Announcer
Wisdom. It’s an incredibly valuable asset, someone say more precious than gold. It’s attractive, appealing, admirable. Conversely, a lack of wisdom is the basis of immaturity, blind spots and bad decisions. Wisdom, it can be gained over time, but it can’t be rushed. But wisdom can be shared. That’s precisely what we are here to do right now, today. We are here to hack wisdom, to distill it, to understand it and to process it. Why? To get better at life.
Welcome to The Main Thing. This is your new nine-minute podcast. I’m your host, Skip Lineberg, and I’ve set out to interview the wisest people I know. We’ll see what we can learn from each one when they’re faced with an incredibly difficult, soul piercing question.
00:59 – Skip Lineberg
Welcome back to The Main Thing Podcast. I’m your host, Skip Lineberg. Our special guest today has a special story, incredible fortitude and a huge heart. In a moment, you’re going to hear an interview that’s amazing, sad, hopeful, shocking. It’s a triumphant story and a powerful testimony. So if you are seeking inspiration, if you’re searching for hope, you’ve come to the right place.
Today’s conversation with Dawne Jacoby will leave you feeling, unmistakably, I can do this. It doesn’t matter what bad things have happened to me or what setbacks I have incurred. Those things do not define me and they only hold me back. If I allow it.
Right now, go ahead and decide which of your friends or loved ones need that sort of inspiration and encouragement, because I want you to share this episode with at least one person. Now let me tell you more about our wise guest.
01:57
Dawne Jacoby is an author and co-founder of Grit to Grace. In that role, she provides transformational coaching and executive consulting, as well as keynote speaking. She’s the host of the wonderful new podcast, “His and Her Life Hacks.” Dawne Jacoby was a former corporate executive whose efforts were centered around growth, organizational change, relationships and development. She decided, after multiple layoffs, to lead with her faith and her heart, to pursue her passion to align with her purpose in this world helping people.
Today, as co-founder of Grit to Grace, alongside her partner and fiancé, Larry Ambrose, Dawne helps people to identify and remove the limiting beliefs that tend to hold them back, both personally and professionally. Dawne helps clients uncover their true passion and strengths and creates a personalized plan so they can live the life they’ve always dreamed of. She joins us today from Philadelphia.
Now lock in, get ready. Over the next nine minutes, you will discover why Dawne Jacoby is one of the wisest people I know!
03:14 – Skip
Dawne Jacoby. Welcome to the Main Thing Podcast.
03:17 – Dawne Jacoby (Guest)
Thank you so much for having me, Skip.
03:20 – Skip
Yeah, it’s great to have you on this morning, on this bitter cold morning here in West Virginia. Dawne it’s 6 degrees here. How about you?
03:26 – Dawne Jacoby
It’s 7 degrees.
03:29 – Skip
Yes, we are finally getting a bit of winter, and I’m ready for a little bit of it. I hope this doesn’t linger, but I like a little bit of snow and a little bit of this cold.
03:39 – Dawne Jacoby
Yes, I’m with you, and then I’m finished after that.
03:44 – Skip
Dawne. One thing that we have in common is we’re both podcasters.
03:47 – Dawne Jacoby
Yes, I’ve been loving this podcasting.
03:50 – Skip
Yeah, give us the elevator pitch for yours. It’s what about four months old?
03:54 – Dawne Jacoby
Yeah, it’s called “His & Her Life Hacks,” and I get to share this podcast with my favorite person by my side, Larry Ambrose, who is my fiancé. Yeah, and basically what we do is we share our personal stories, tips and tricks to everyday life experiences in hopes to help or inspire other people. Sometimes we make you laugh. Sometimes we make you cry. Our stories range from deep to funny, so, yeah,
04:25 – Skip
And you’re also an author. You’re working on a book.
04:26 – Dawne Jacoby
I am. Yes, I just need to finalize it, but I signed with a publisher and can’t wait to release it.
04:35 – Skip
That’s awesome. Congratulations. What’s your working title?
04:38 – Dawne Jacoby
It’s going to be: “I Thought It Was Love.” And then the subtitle would be “A Mother’s Lifelong Journey Through Abuse.”
04:48 – Skip
You mentioned Larry Ambrose, and he was our guest on Episode 101. How did you and Larry meet? Would you give us a little bit of a taste of how you and Larry met and now are engaged to be married?
05:00 – Dawne Jacoby
Yeah, absolutely so. It was two years ago in December. We were introduced by a mutual friend. I have known this friend for about 25 years and worked with her for a little bit and Larry also knew her for quite a bit. His children and hers went to school in the same church, so it was awesome. I loved it because it was an organic way of meeting someone.
05:25 – Skip
That’s a lifelong friend – 25 years. She really knows you and I guess she really knew Larry.
05:30 – Dawne Jacoby
Yes. That was key. And she also knew that I had been single for about five and a half years and I kept saying as a joke you know, God is going to send me my person wrapped in a bow and I’m going to meet him like a Hallmark movie at Wegman’s, as I’m trying to like, get something off the top shelf. He’s going to come by and, just you know, get that for me, and then it’ll be happily ever after and we’ll move to Colorado.
05:58 – Skip
So that’s your “Meet Cute” part of the script. Folks, if you missed Larry’s episode about five episodes back, go, go, listen to it. Larry has an amazing, tragic, beautiful, powerful story where he was living his dream life to his sweetheart, chris, and they had been married 17 years. They had eight kids. Just really living a charmed life. Then one day, tragically, chris died from a heart abnormality.
06:27 – Dawne Jacoby
Yeah, it was horrible. When I heard this story, my heart bled for him. I would just add, you know, then he was forced into a role that was unfamiliar to him. His wife did an amazing job raising those eight children and he now had to be a parent and a provider and trying to navigate that.
06:49 – Skip
Let’s get to know you a little bit better. I wanted to just ask you some fun, playful questions. Here’s how it goes I’m going to ask you some questions that will help folks understand your essence. You know of who you are kind, of your trademark, and we’ll do it this way I’ll ask you this question and you’ll fill in the blank. So I’ll say, when I think of Dawne, the first thing I think of is blank, and I’m going to give you some characters that you would put into that scenario. Does that make sense?
07:12 – Dawne Jacoby
Sounds good.
07:14 – Skip
Okay, all right. So first we’re going to go with your youngest child. When I think of Dawne, or when I think of mom, the first thing I think of is _____________.
07:28 – Dawne Jacoby
Well, she has been by my side through a lot of what I went through. One thing she has repeatedly said to me was: “Mom, so many people love you and you inspire so many, just keep going.” She would also probably repeat back to me what I’ve said to my daughters forever, “Never give up. God has a plan and everything will always work out.”
07:46 – Skip Lineberg (Host)
So I love that. I love that. Okay, let’s change the script a little bit, and so we’re going to talk about your longest standing friendship, your best friend. Maybe it’s that person that you’ve known for 25 years that we touched on earlier. What’s her name?
07:59 – Dawne Jacoby
This would be Chrissy, and I’ve actually known her for 40 years.
08:06 – Skip
Wow, okay. So Chrissy would say: When I think of Dawne, the first thing I think of is _______________.
08:12 – Dawne Jacoby
She has said to me repeatedly you are the strongest woman I know, and you know many times when she said that to me, I was in what I call the depths of hell, feeling completely broken, sad, scared, desperately wanting someone to help me or take care of me. So I didn’t feel strong at all, but, interestingly enough, I guess that’s what I projected to the world, that I was strong.
08:37 – Skip
And Chrissy could see that strength, huh? That’s encouraging, though. I love that. Okay, last but not least, your fiance, Mister Larry. When I think of Dawne, the first thing I think of is __________.
08:49 – Dawne Jacoby
Oh well, I think his first words would be that she’s a spaz and we joke about that all the time We’ll turn around and say you’re such a spaz and he means it with love, because I get spazzy- and then he calls me out on it and you know we laugh together about it. But he’ll take me from something I’m spazzing over per se. You know that has me in tears. He’ll take me to that, to laughing in seconds.
09:20 – Skip Lineberg
Dawne, let’s go a little deeper into your story. In the introduction I mentioned that you had a very unique and very powerful story that involves a non typical childhood. I know that you left home when you were 17 years old and I wondered if you would take us through your story of growing up and some of those early struggles and the adversity that you had to overcome.
09:40 – Dawne Jacoby
Yeah, sure, absolutely. So I was born to a mother who didn’t want me and told me every single day I was very unloved, unwanted. It was evident. And she it’s like the Cinderella story kind of. You know, when you think about that story, cinderella was the good person always doing good, but the one that her wicked stepmother, would you know, always push to do things and beat up, basically, you know, mentally, emotionally or whatever. So that was my life. That was my story. I did have a younger sister or I do … five years younger who was loved, was chosen, and I was told that often. So, after 17 years there was an incident that happened that made me leave home.
10:33 – Skip
I’m curious on today is your mom still living? And your sister? Are you still in touch with them?
10:40 – Dawne Jacoby
As far as I know, they are still living. Part of my healing process required me to walk away from both of my parents. My father was not any better, so it’s been about 15 years that I have spoken to or seen my parents, and my sister, unfortunately, was part of that. So my mother really roped her in and pitted her and I against each other from a very young age, which was dysfunctional on my mother’s part. You know, my sister was really an innocent victim to that, but she’s not strong enough to, or maybe she wasn’t made like I was made. I think she was made like my mother. So there’s no connection there anymore, unfortunately.
11:29 – Skip
Oh gosh, that’s hard. That was a hard choice, but a necessary one, I’m sure,
11:35 – Dawne Jacoby
Absolutely yes.
11:37 – Skip
Dawne, how did you overcome those wounds or how did you avoid viewing yourself as “The Victim?”
11:42 – Dawne Jacoby
Well, it took me 46 years and being brought to my knees, or crashing as I say, to really become awake to it all. I was living in survival mode and unconscious for 46 years, and when I say unconscious, that doesn’t mean like every decision I made, or to my children or to my work. It just meant that I was blocking my pain from my childhood and adulthood, basically by staying busy and just being a good mom and working hard in corporate America, so I was checking boxes.
Yeah, I basically was unconscious to the wounds because I didn’t want to make space for them. It was too painful.
12:24 – Skip
So you numbed that pain by doing … and being productive. Yes, yeah, that’s a common thing, the more people that you talk to….
12:32 – Dawne Jacoby
Yeah, we all have something that we use as a coping mechanism, and for me it was being the best mom I could be and working hard.
12:45 – Skip
Yeah, it sounds like that was a process, wasn’t it?
12:47 – Dawne Jacoby
Absolutely. It definitely was a process, and it was a long healing process. But, you know, I had to give myself that gift and grace to go through the pain not around it anymore, as we often do, and take as long as I needed to heal. And during that process, I actually became a life coach in 2016 because that was part of my healing process that I really enjoyed. I was working with a life coach and she was amazing and got me over to the other side. You know, therapy was good, it served a purpose, but it kept me stuck. The life coaching really helped get me to that next step. So I’ve been dedicating my life ever since to helping others go through their pain, trauma and all that they need to overcome.
13:36 – Skip
Yeah, so you learned new knowledge, new ideas, new practices, new techniques, and it was so powerful for you that you were like I’ve got to teach this to other people. Absolutely.
13:48 – Dawne Jacoby
Yeah, I just knew. So this was really before I even knew, like, what I was going to do with my life, right? But I felt a calling that I had to go through this pain, you know, in order for me to help others. And then, once I did, I’ve realized that and put those pieces together. I knew, so I became certified and it felt right. It just felt like this is what God wanted me to do.
14:15 – Skip
Yeah, and I’m sure, as you teach others, it solidifies, reinforces and fortifies all the progress you’re making.
14:25 – Dawne Jacoby
It does, it really does.
14:30 – Skip
Dawne, you mentioned God’s plan. If you feel comfortable, I wonder if you want to share with us what role your faith played in this transformation, this journey that you, that you just talked about.
14:42 – Dawne Jacoby
Absolutely. God played a major part in my life then and still does. I will forever feel blessed and grateful that God chose me to go through that horrible life and experience and journey that I lived. I say that he had to break me, you know, but he had to make me strong enough to withstand and endure. And I do believe that he arms us with what we need. I just—I and we just—need to trust, trust in him and trust the journey fully. But he definitely blessed me with the greatest gifts in life. He made me different. I wasn’t like what I was born from. I have two beautiful daughters. I have a loving heart you know I don’t have any anger or hate in it and you know he gave me the ability to transform my pain into my purpose so I can help others now. And then, of course, I have a bonus. You know a beautiful man in my life and his eight children. So I am truly blessed.
15:43 – Skip
Yeah, wow, Dawne, folks will have heard you just say I’m grateful for the pain and the suffering that God led me through and people will hear that and go: That’s crazy talk! How could someone be grateful for all that? Could you spend a minute there, like when you say that? Give us the context and the underlying feeling of how you can say that today.
16:07 – Dawne Jacoby
Yeah, and that’s a good point. How can I say it today? Because if you asked me when I was in it, I would say exactly what you just said: “Are you kidding me?”Like no, I’m not grateful for this. I remember crying out to God daily. Why are you doing this to me? Why, Well, I’ve been a good person, Like I’m made of love, I’m good. You know why? Why is this happening?
16:28 – Skip
I don’t deserve this.
16:29 – Dawne Jacoby
Yeah, I don’t deserve this. All I’ve ever done was try to love people that abused me. You know that whole thing. But had he not broken me, Skip, I would have continued to repeat generational patterns and that is like a whole podcast in itself.
You know we live unconsciously to the programming and the blueprint that is given to us as a child. And when we live unconsciously, we are just simply going through the motions and repeating patterns that are familiar and comfortable, and that’s why we gravitate to the same people or the same thing, because it’s normal to us.
But when you’ve gone through a bad situation, like I had, and you feel like there’s something deeper inside you meant for greater purpose, but you can’t put your finger on it. But yet you just keep doing what you’re doing and living your life and then bad things keep happening. If I had not been brought to my knees, I would still be repeating those patterns and not knowing why.
17:31 – Skip
That clears it up and justifies it for me. I get it. Yeah, thank you.
17:36 – Skip
Dawne, if you would … I want to go back to your story and just ask if you would be willing to share a little bit more about growing up, your family life, some of your struggles, and then I want to talk about the day you left. But we’ll get to that. Could you give us a little more of a picture of how hard it was living with a mom who didn’t want you, didn’t love you?
17:59 – Dawne Jacoby
Yeah, absolutely. So. There was nothing I could ever do that was good, and I was always trying to please her. Even my 17 year old self, there was still the little girl deep inside who was just like a three year old, wanting her mother’s love. When you are rejected by your mother, there is a huge wound there that, as the child in you, you always want to keep doing everything you can to get her love. As the adult, you start to think okay, this person isn’t very nice, but the child in you still wants to be loved. So I struggled with that my whole life until I left home. You know, nothing I did was good enough. The highs and lows. She was very what I thought was bipolar, but I later learned that it made more sense, that she was borderline personality. And I throw that label out there because that was something I had never heard before. But when I learned, that in therapy. It made sense, and it really connected the dots, Because she always told me I was bad or I was you know the troublemaker. But in actuality I really wasn’t. I was actually really a good child. So when I heard the borderline you know statement, I thought okay, so I’m not crazy.
19:19 – Skip
That vocabulary, that phrase, gave you a framework to make sense of some things.
19:26 – Dawne Jacoby
Yes for sure. So yeah, so it was a lot of up and down. You know, hot or cold walking on eggshells. I’m not knowing who I was going to get when I walked through the door, so I quickly learned how to be a people pleaser.
19:38 – Skip
Dawne, you’ve shared with me before, as we’re getting to know each other, a horrible incident where she pushed you down a flight of steps. How could that happen?
19:49 – Dawne Jacoby
Yeah, I mean, I personally don’t know how that could happen, having two daughters of my own who are my world and always have been. I never even laid a hand on them when they were little. You know it. Just for me, it was always about getting down to their little level and speaking to them in their eyes, and that’s it.
When my mother, as I said, she was always high and low the incident that took place was we were in the kitchen eating breakfast and it was just her and I, and she had said would you like to go shopping? Which, again, was this high, right? Oh, she’s being nice to me. And I actually looked around the room and I was like, is she talking to my sister? I’m like, clearly she doesn’t want to go shopping with me. She hates me. So I said, “Me?” And she was like, “Yeah you.” And so, of course, the little girl in me. So, even though I’m 17 and I hate her and she’s been horrible to me, the three year old in me was like, yes, I’ll do anything, I want to go shopping. So I excitedly said, yeah, okay. So I ran upstairs to get ready and it wasn’t five, 10 minutes later that I heard her storming up the stairs, raging, and I couldn’t hear what she was saying because I had my music on. But when she got up to my bedroom she was raging about me not cleaning the crumbs off the counter which, by the way, I didn’t create because I didn’t make any. And so she grabbed me by my hair and dragged me to the steps and threw me down the flight of stairs to go clean up the crumbs, and then all I remember, like still to this day ….
21:32 – Skip
Were you injured? It probably scraped you up.
21:33 – Dawne Jacoby
Is that stucco wall that we all had? Yeah, the popcorn wall, you know. So I bounced down the flight of stairs, hitting that. So yeah, and then I landed
Oh yeah, oh yeah. I was bleeding, I was in shock.
That was a new extreme. So she was always emotionally and mentally abusive, always. But the physical was new for me and I was in shock.
And then my father met me at the landing and, of course, even though he was no better my whole life, I was looking at him to save me, protect me here. And he literally said to me, “What did you do to your mother to piss her off?”
And I knew in that moment I was not safe. Like, I need to get out of here. These guys want to kill me. Like I’m never, ever. It’s escalating at this point and I’m 17 years old by the way. Like who does that?
22:42 – Skip
So probably a senior in high school?
22:45 – Dawne Jacoby
I was ending my junior year. So when I left home, I left that day literally with the clothes on my back.
22:49 – Skip
That’s the day you left. Okay, okay.
22:52 – Dawne Jacoby
And when I left I obviously didn’t have a plan, I was just running to escape it.
22:59 – Skip
Oh gosh, so you didn’t even … Did you pack a bag or a backpack? Oh my gosh, Dawne.
23:01 – Dawne Jacoby
No, nothing. I ran out of my house and said, You guys are crazy. And then I went to my girlfriend’s house and her mom and sister, and her said, “You know you’re going to stay here; we’re going to take care of you.” I wore my girlfriend’s clothes and then I was starting my senior year of high school, so I then had to, you know. I said I’m not going back, and so we made a plan.
23:30 – Skip
Did your parents try to come and get you like, make you, force you to come back home, or or what? No really, wow, that tells a lot.
23:38 – Dawne Jacoby
Well, they didn’t know where I was. But trust me as a mother, if I didn’t know where my child was, I would be the best FBI agent you have, like I would find my child. So they didn’t try, obviously.
23:51 – Skip
That’s exactly the thought I had in mind. It was like FBI all points bulletin.
Yeah, I know that’s not easy to share and publicly. Dawne, thank you for being authentic and vulnerable and honest enough to share that, because I know someone out there listening is hurting or knows someone who’s hurting, and hearing that could be just the motivation they need to help change or help someone through a transition.
24:16 – Dawne Jacoby
Absolutely yeah. That’s why I tell my story.
24:18 – Skip
Yeah, Dawne. Having heard your story, and if a listener out there has similar trauma or similar feelings, what would you say to them?
24:29 – Dawne Jacoby
I would say that what happened to you in your childhood does not define you. You can rewrite your story anytime. You’re never too old to start. I repeated abuse patterns into my adulthood because I didn’t know. I didn’t know any better. That’s what I thought was love. Hence the title of my book – “I Thought It Was Love.”
When you’re brought up in an abusive situation, despite being abused, like I said, you still crave that love. You’re trying to find it and search for it. So then let’s just say, you become an adult, you go out into the real world and when I was 17, 18, dating, I would accept any little breadcrumb of love as a big deal. I thought, oh my gosh, they really like me, or this is love. What happens is you’re repeating patterns, unknowingly, and then you’re accepting this love.
25:30 – Skip
I can see that.
26:26 – Skip
That brings us to the point where I’m going to ask you that pivotal question, the question that I’ve asked each and every wise guest 105 that have come before you, Dawne Jacoby, what’s the main thing you’ve learned in your lifetime so far?
26:41 – Dawne Jacoby
Skip, the main thing I’ve learned in my lifetime so far is if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
26:51 – Skip
Oh my gosh, if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. Would you unpack that for us and tell us more about that? We know sort of the context … some of the things that you could look at. Yeah, take us through that, please.
27:10 – Dawne Jacoby
So this is a quote by Wayne Dyer that stuck with me when I was going through my healing process, and it basically means that we all have something in life that happens to us, that makes an impact, and we have a choice to let it break us or build us, and we could very easily get stuck in that victim mode.
Or, we could reframe the situation and ask ourselves Is this experience trying to teach me something … or does God have his hand in this? Is he making me go through this so I can help others for a greater purpose? In my situation, god definitely had his hand in it. I mean, I believe it took me so long to crash.
I laugh and joke about this and say, because I’m a slow learner. Or you know, I am too loyal and I stay too long … and it takes something extreme like my mother throwing me down the stairs to say enough. And that happened in my adult relationship to where I said enough, I’m done. But, most importantly, I needed to go through, I think, every bit of it so that I could now help all walks of life.
I feel like I have like the superpower now when, you know, sometimes in just a few seconds of someone talking to me, I can feel and Intuitively know what they might be struggling with and I know how to help them. So it’s almost like God whispers to me. You know what’s going on in my heart and I say that that’s a gift that he’s given me now.
28:48 – Skip
Oh, for sure … yeah, the superpower of empathy and feeling and relating.
28:57 – Dawne Jacoby
Yeah, and I mean when you’re in victim mode. You know, like in my situation, when I think about my life, I could say I was either put here by God to live the worst life ever and to be tortured by so many people. Or reframe it and say, God chose me to help others and would protect me and provide for me, you know, along the way. So I chose to believe the latter.
29:18 – Skip
Mm-hmm, and he would use your story to help others learn and make change. Yeah, so if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. So you could change the way you look at your childhood, from looking at it as being a victim and being unwanted and hurt, to a new way, and that’s what you’ve done, isn’t it?
29:41 – Dawne Jacoby
Yes.
29:42 – Skip
Yeah, that’s awesome! Gosh, that feels like freedom!
29:44 – Dawne Jacoby
Definitely freedom. That’s a great word for that.
29:49 – Skip
Dawne, would you happen to have a personal example of when you’ve recently had to lean on and apply this main thing, wisdom phrase that you’ve just introduced to us?
29:59 – Dawne Jacoby
Yeah, I mean … This happens often in my coaching sessions and those coaching sessions are with top executives all the way down to children.
And then many times, when I’m trying to help my own children through life situations, or even Larry’s children, that this comes up.
Many adults, but especially children, because they don’t have the wisdom yet, they tend to think doomsday, you know. Like this situation is horrible.
This it’s not a made-up story, but as an example, one of Larry’s children, Zach, his car. He had gone on a little road trip and he got his car checked out, you know, paid, say, $500 for whatever he had to have done or whatever, and then he went on the road trip and the car broke down like halfway through the trip.
And then the car needed repaired and it was basically totaled like there was no fixing it. So now he had to put out, you know, an exorbitant amount of money to buy a new car and then he got his car. He had a good amount of money to buy a new car. And he’s like, “I literally just moved out. My finances were in order. You know, why is this happening to me?”
But you think about it and I was like, “But you don’t know, like maybe God broke your car down for a reason. Because I don’t know you were going to get into an accident, or it was going to blow up on you.”
We don’t know the answers to everything in that moment, but it’s reframing your thought from doomsday to maybe there’s a reason for this.
31:33 – Skip
Yeah, For him to say I’m the victim, I spent my, I spent good money on that car. It should have been fixed. This shouldn’t have happened to me. And and I see you coming in and saying, “But gosh, Zach, think of this way you’re getting a new car!”
31:52 – Dawne Jacoby
There’s some positives there.
31:55 – Skip
Yeah, it’s gonna cost a little more, but you’re gonna have a brand new car. You’re gonna have a new vehicle that you’re gonna love.
Yeah, that’s awesome. That’s a great example.
32:00 – Skip
Dawne, I want to go back to your transformation, just a little bit. I wanted to go a little deeper into some of the work that you did to help make that change. You talked about working with the coach, so you did that. You talked about therapy, but would you just kind of give us a glimpse of how you invested in your personal change … and some of the practices … or some of the studies that you might have done?
32:23 – Dawne Jacoby
Yeah, for sure. So I should definitely add in my pastor. The church I was going to at the time was a Lutheran church, so I was often meeting with my pastor just asking her why is god doing this to me. So she helped me tremendously. As you mentioned, I had therapy two or three days a week. I added life coaching, um, in one to two times a week. Um, I started journaling. Journaling is huge. I tell all of my clients to journal because If anything, it’s just getting the thoughts out of your head so you can go to sleep and have peace. But also looking at patterns or your thought process for the day, and then you know how do you feel this morning, how do you feel tonight, what happened during the day? What could we do different? Um, it’s a good way of changing thoughts.
33:15 – Skip
I’m a huge fan of journaling. Listeners were like chuckling. Right now they’re like, “There goes Skip, journaling again.” He probably paid her to say that.
33:26 – Dawne Jacoby
Yeah, I believe in it. I also was given—this might seem silly—but it really was powerful for me. My girlfriend gave me this little box and it said, honestly, I forget the exact wording, but it was basically, when, when you need somewhere to put your thoughts, you know, put it in God’s hands. That was what was on top of the box, and it basically was like write your pain down and put it in this little box and give your worries to god for the night and let him work on it. And so, when I would do, it bad I was like you know, God, my heart, I think I repeatedly wrote: please, I just want peace in my heart, my mind and my soul, like that’s all I wanted. I just wanted peace, and you know I didn’t have the quick answer on how to get there, so I gave that to God every night.
34:16 – Skip
Yeah, if I recall, you’re pretty consistent with exercise and that sort of thing. Did you do anything differently, um, in your physical activity during your healing?
34:29 – Dawne Jacoby
Yes, and that was huge. That was a huge part of my healing. So thanks for bringing that up. Um. Yes, so I am an avid gym-goer. Um, but I stepped it up a notch. Um during the worst time of my life. For some crazy reason, I decided to do a Spartan Race. Um was not trained or ready for that, but just dove in Um and then I did a Muckfest.
34:51 – Skip
Oh my gosh.
34:53 – Dawne Jacoby
So, um, but yeah, boxing became my number one passion, uh, which I still love today. I highly recommend it, especially, you know, if you’re married or you’re a couple. It’s so much fun. Like I obviously wasn’t at the time but you know, think about it, Skip at the end of every day, you and your wife getting together, getting some gloves on and sparring in a loving way. Larry won’t box with me though. He says, “I can’t, I can’t do it.”
35:22 – Skip
That’s awesome!
Dawne, if someone listening has not yet embraced your main thing wisdom, which was about changing the way you look at things so that those things change. If someone hasn’t latched onto that yet, or hasn’t discovered that, what might they be feeling in the way of symptoms or pain points?
35:39 – Dawne Jacoby
Yeah, they are likely feeling stuck and know deep down that they are made for more. But just don’t know how to get there or even where to start.
They probably need clarity, might need to unblock some limiting beliefs that have kept them stuck. They might need to heal some childhood wounds. We all have them. This is typically what I see in adult clients that I’m coaching. They’re carrying forward these childhood wounds, and it’s never too late to heal them. Like you said—to free yourself. You become free.
36:12- Skip
Here we are in early 2024. You’re engaged. You’ve got all kinds of good things going through your Grit 2 Grace platform. What’s bringing you the most joy in this season of your life?
36:23 – Dawne Jacoby
I am definitely living my best life, and I’m living my purpose with the man I love. And bonus, I have 10 children total to love in the process. There is definitely no greater joy.
36:34 – Skip
His eight and your two. Right?
36:43 – Dawne Jacoby
Yes, Larry’s eight and my two—and two soon-to-be husbands. My one youngest daughter is engaged and my oldest will likely be engaged this coming year. So I get another two bonus kids. Yeah, God has definitely blessed me tremendously. I would say that to the listeners. When I was 46 years old and crashing and down on my knees and feeling like what am I here for? I can’t keep doing this life anymore like this. I didn’t know if it was ever going to change. But I am testimony. Don’t give up. Just keep going. Don’t give up. It will change. All it is probably requiring you to do is to make drastic changes in your life, and let God lead you through it.
37:31 – Skip
There, it is right there.
37:35 – Skip
Dawne, what’s next for you? You’re navigating your life, living your best life, as you said. I know you’ve got a lot of plans and dreams and things going on that you’re moving towards. What’s something new that you’re aiming for or you’re trying to master? Just something that might surprise the listeners?
37:51 – Dawne Jacoby
Yeah well, let’s see. On a personal level, Larry and I are planning to get married this year. If all works out, we have to sell a house, buy a house, plan a wedding, and that’s a lot in one year plus running a business.
38:07 – Skip
A lot of logistics.
38:08 – Dawne Jacoby
We would love for our business to thrive, as you mentioned, our business is called Grit 2 Grace. There’s many different segments to our business, one of which is podcasting and speaking and coaching. We really want to make it successful, make God proud, and spread the word on how he worked in us and he can work in others too.
38:35 – Skip
Yeah, master, that new platform and that new business. Yeah for sure, that makes total sense. I’ll put links to your podcast and your website in the show notes so that folks can go there and check it out and learn more.
38:51 – Dawne Jacoby
That would be awesome!
Your questions have been so thought-provoking and so kind. I’ve teared up multiple times thinking of my answers or answering them. I just appreciate the opportunity to dig deep into myself and offering me a platform to share with the hopes of helping others. This has been great. I highly recommend The Main Thing Podcast. It’s just been a joy to be here. Thank you.
39:15 – Skip
Well, it’s been an honor and a blessing to connect with you, learn from you and to help support each other and encourage one another. We’re both trying to help people in our own way, and I’m all about that. So thank you, Dawne, it’s been fabulous. Take good care. And so long for now.
39:35 – Dawne Jacoby
You too Skip, Thank you.
39:37 – Announcer
Wow, that goes by incredibly fast, doesn’t it? Time flies when you’re hacking wisdom. I hope you’re left wanting more. Sync up with us again next time on The Main Thing, for nine more minutes of wisdom.
